The First Step
by everchangingmuse
Summary: JJ and Will return from the bar and quickly realise that recovery is not going to be as easy as they had thought. Post-200 but a terrible summary. Please read and review.


**Disclaimer:** I do not own Criminal Minds or any of the recognisable characters in this story.

**A/N:** Follow-up to the bar scene at the end of 200 because JJ and Will were just so sweet.

**The First Step**

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The spray from the shower caught the edge of her foot, causing JJ to let out a strangled whimper and curl further in on herself in the corner of the cubicle. She shuddered as the water continued to drum against the floor, willing it to turn off but being unable to make herself reach through the spray for the switch. As more water splashed against her foot she jerked violently, sending shower products clattering across the floor and plunging her back into memories of the basement.

She pressed her face into her knees, fighting for air as she remembered the feeling of water being forced down her throat. Her lungs burned and her head spun as she felt Hastings' hands roam over her skin again. He was taunting her, telling her all the things he was going to do to her. How he was going to have her and how it was going to better than anything Will could do. She wanted to be sick. It was almost as if he was right next to her, murmuring her name. "JJ … JJ."

"Jennifer!"

Her head flew up, eyes filled with terror as she crashed back into reality. Will was crouched in front of her, fully clothed and soaking wet, yet the water was no longer running. "You with me, Jay?" he asked softly as he ever so gently brushed her matted hair off of her face.

She recoiled violently as he made contact with her skin, the instinctual reaction causing pain to rip through her battered body. Her cry of pain broke his heart. He had no idea how to pull her back from the panic attack she had just suffered when she couldn't even handle him touching her. Her naked frame was shuddering violently, through a combination of fear and cold. He desperately wanted to at least cover her with a towel, but restrained himself as he didn't want to cause her any more distress. Instead, he settled for sitting next to her, making sure she had a clear path to the door of the cubical and being careful not to touch her at all.

Her blue eyes were still wild with fear, darting around the bathroom and her breathing was harsh, ragged and, if the expression on her face was anything to go by, painful. At a loss as to what else to do, Will resorted to talking nonsense, about anything and everything, trying to draw his terrified wife back into the present.

"That boy did not go down easily cher. We're gonna have to talk to the sitter about how much candy is acceptable before bed. I practically had to peel him off the ceiling. He was babbling about that soccer game he has tomorrow. Reckons he's gonna score a dozen goals by the sounds of it. Gotta admire the kids drive. He was sayin' he was gonna be like RGIII. I'm not sure whether I'm more worried about the fact he doesn't get the difference between soccer and football or that his momma's corrupted him and made him a Skins fan." He paused for a moment, buoyed by the fact that her breathing was calming and she had even smiled faintly at the tales of her sons confusion. "I was sure that their god-awful season was gonna mean he was a lockdown for bein' a Saint's fan. I'll need to take him down to Louisiana next season … get him to a proper game and show him what a real team can do." He felt JJ shift next to him and his heart soared when her damp head landed on his shoulder. Realising she was emerging from her panic he added; "Of course, you can come to cher, as long as I know you're gonna behave yourself. Can't have any of that Skins rubbish swaying the boys opinion."

This time JJ chuckled softly and turned her body further towards him. Her arm crept across his front and she grabbed a fistful of his shirt in one of her hands. Taking a chance, Will slipped an arm around JJ's shoulders and gently ran his hand up and down her arm when she relaxed completely against his side.

They sat in a comfortable silence for several minutes, Wills lips pressed against her hair and JJ's breath ghosting over the damp material of his shirt causing goosebumps to rise upon his skin. Eventually, her teeth began to chatter and her body shuddered so violently that an involuntary whimper escaped her pale lips.

"C'mon cher," Will pressed a final kiss to the top of her head. "Lets get you into some warm clothes and tucked up in bed." He gently disentangled himself from JJ before bending down in preparation to lift her small body into his arms.

"No!" She was shaking her head and backing away from him.

"Okay… okay. I'm not gonna touch you babe," Will said, backing out of the shower cubicle with his hands raised above his head.

"I know." JJ's voice was small, almost ashamed. "It's not that, I just-"

"It's just what?" Will asked softly, hunkered down just outside the cubicle with an encouraging smile on his face. But JJ just shook her head in response, looking anywhere but at him as her hands played anxiously on her lap. "C'mon cher, talk to me."

Her eyes found his face and the look of patience and love there reminded her that she could trust this man with anything. He was her husband; her sweet, gentle, understanding husband and he wasn't going to laugh at anything she said. "I need … I have to - gotta, get him off me. I know I've showered, but then I remembered … and, now it's - it's just horrible again."

Will's heart broke at his wife's awkward confession. He had been with her when she had made her statement at the hospital, so he knew exactly what she had been through. He had also been a cop long enough to know how attacks like the one JJ had suffered could affect people. If not for the apprehensive look in her eyes when they flicked towards the switch for the shower, Will would have left her to it, telling her to call him if she needed anything. But the expression on her face reminded him that she had also suffered water torture. They'd made her think she was drowning and they had fired strong jets of water at her. A shower was definitely not going to be a good idea, in fact, he kicked himself for not realising that earlier - before he had let her take the first one.

"Okay Jay. It's alright. How about a bath? It'll probably be a whole lot more relaxing." The look of worry on her face melted away, replaced with one of those sweet smiles that made Will fall a little more in love with her every time he saw them. She gave him a small nod and he was about to turn and start filling up the bath when she reached for him tentatively. Immediately he recognised what she wanted and lifted her carefully out of the shower. He sat her on the toilet lid before grabbing the thickest, fluffiest towel in the bathroom and wrapping her in it tightly. Then he set to work filling the bath with warm water and digging through the bathroom cabinets in search of the bubble bath that JJ loved to use. Reaching his target, he poured a generous amount into the water, mixing it with his hands until the bath was full of sweet-smelling soapy water. He placed her iPod in the docking station, switching it to her favourite playlist of soothing music before dimming the lights in the bathroom to a relaxing level.

He turned off the water and reached to help his uncharacteristically weak wife into the bath. After checking she was settled comfortably he turned to go, but barely made it a step from the side of the tub before he felt JJs small hand wrap around his wrist. He turned back to her, taking note of the unsure expression on her face. "You okay?"

"Yeah, but … could you join me? Only if you want to! I know that after … after, you know - you maybe don't, but…" She looked so vulnerable as she let go of his wrist, shaking her head as if to tell herself that she was being stupid.

"Course I want to baby. I just thought you might have wanted some alone time. Give you a chance to relax." Her features were still twisted into an expression of concern so he attempted to lighten the mood. "Cause I distinctly remember bein' told I was gettin' too handsy last time I joined you in a relaxing bath."

She laughed then, before doubling over and wincing as she gripped her ribs. "God Will," she groaned, still with a smile on her face, "stop making me laugh."

He laughed himself at that as he peeled off his wet clothes and slipped into the water behind his wife. Cradling her between his legs, he pressed a gentle kiss to her shoulder and wrapped his arms around her protectively. She sighed in contentment as she sank against his chest, interlocking their fingers over her stomach.

Sitting in a bath smelling of strawberries, with god-awful classical music playing in the background, Will found himself thanking his lucky stars that his wife was home, safe and in his arms. The next few months were not going to be easy, but JJ had shown tonight that not only did she need his help, but that she wanted it too. And that was the first step to recovery.

He smiled softly to himself as he brushed his wife's hair off of her face in order to kiss her on the cheek. This time she didn't flinch away, she simply squeezed his hand in response and sleepily mumbled "I love you."

"Love you too cher." She was going to be okay.

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**A/N:** Please tell me what you think.


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